This week I attended a really thought-provoking and intriguing development session all about beliefs, amongst the discussions we talked about what they were and how we can change them.
Our beliefs have such a massive impact on our lives, they determine our actions but even more than that....they form the foundations of our experiences in the world.
Our beliefs can either build us up or hold us back and whilst many people think they are steadfast and unchangeable science actually shows us that we're more malleable than we might think. We only believe something until something proves us otherwise.
As I've said many times we're not stupid beings we don't believe something because it's stupid, we only believe something which we deem to be true and useful to us (that 'usefulness' is sometimes not consciously known but that doesn't mean it's not there).
Our beliefs form the fabric of what we believe to be right, they cover everything from our expectations about an object such as scissors are sharp to our beliefs about things like relationships, money and success.
How do we harness the power of our empowering beliefs and reshape the ones which hold us back?
This TED talk by Eduardo Briceno caught my eye too. It's incredible how some small changes can have such a massive impact on our lives and what we're able to achieve. I myself have fallen into the 'fixed mindset' rut but I'm learning the drawbacks of my ways and I'm constantly seeking to understand myself better.
The Growth mindset and beliefs
Some of our biggest self-limiting beliefs come from having a fixed mindset, believing that we don't have talent, aren't clever enough or we have to be the best.
A growth mindset allows us to realise we are always doing our best and we are always learning. Once you adopt that belief the pressure we place on ourselves is lifted. We know nothing until we are taught, we grow as we learn and no belief can be held once you decide it's not true any more.
So what beliefs do you hold which no longer serve you well?
Perhaps it would help to ask yourself, what belief would serve you better? Just mull over that question and see what your unconscious brings for you. You may even find that just a small change in wording would feel better for you.
Then it's how you help yourself to truly believe the belief which serves you better. Here's a few things you can try:
1) Question the source - where did that original belief come from? Ask yourself is it true? Once that belief is understood sometimes it takes a different meaning or you find out that belief is actually out of date and you can allow yourself to move on.
2) Repetition - sometimes if we hear something often enough we start to believe it, so repeat your new belief often and your belief in it will grow.
3) Look for the evidence - Purposefully look for evidence which supports your new belief, for example start to notice when you do have confidence, or times you do well. Don't let those moments slip by, notice them and they'll help build strength in your belief.
If you'd like more help with beliefs or something is holding you back which you just can't shift, get in touch and book a 1-2-1, I have many more tools in my toolbox and always happy to help.
I hope you've enjoyed this look into beliefs, how they impact your day to day life and you now have a few ideas you can play with to help you change them. If you'd like to share your thoughts or progress please comment below and join the conversation.
Until next time
We all have them, that moment when something triggers a wobble in our confidence and in milliseconds our brain goes from 'Life is great' to 'Oh my I can't cope.' I had one today and it inspired me to share a Tool Kit with you. This Tool Kit has been tried and tested many times, not just by me but by the people I work with too......it works and I hope it gives you a proven strategy which you can use!!!
Let me set the scene........today I sat down to create a blog post, laptop ready and my brain was pondered over some ideas. After a short while, I was still staring at a blank screen and.....bam from nowhere I said to myself, 'I don't know why you're bothering'.......closely followed by, 'you might as well just give it up as a bad job.'
I have an incline you know where this story is going..........
So I took a breath and decided I needed distraction and some more inspiration so I started to look through some articles I'd saved for ideas......Then, bam my internal dialogue said, 'these are so much better than yours', 'you'll never be able to write like that anyway'.......it went on and on.....
within a few short minutes I was completely distracted, fighting an internal battle with myself and about to give it up.
That's when I decided to use my Tool Kit, here's what I did........
My tool kit for when Confidence Wobbles Strike
1) STOP: It's a great word and when said powerfully enough can halt internal processes just like that. I said it to myself strongly and firmly.
2) Breathing: I took a few deep breaths. This really allows me to calm down and then the rest of the tools become easier.
3) Language: I knew my internal dialogue was only leading me to one outcome and I didn't want to go there so I stopped those too. Any which crept in, I chose not to listen.
4) Distraction: I shut the laptop, walked away (I actually went to get my hair cut, it has been on my Do List all week).
5) Refocus: I put some BIG tunes on the car stereo and allowed myself to sing.
The result: The idea for this blog popped into my mind as I was driving and I really loved it. By the time I parked the car I even had the flow of it worked out in my head. My internal dialogue was also being realistic about the earlier statements thinking things like, 'so what if others are better, just focus on being you' and 'they probably feel exactly the same sometimes too.' By the time I sat in the chair at the hairdressers I was feeling much better. When I came back this blog just flowed.
Sometimes we work too hard on something and the outcomes seems to drift further and further away. Worse than that our internal dialogue knows how to hurt us most and starts having a party in your head.
You are not at the mercy of your brain, you just don't know how to use it effectively so unwittingly let it get on with it. Try the Tool Kit out and make it work for you. Take back control and you may be amazed at how quickly you can feel better.
If you'd like more practical mindset tools you can use, join me at my monthly Break Free, Find Clarity sessions. These are for all business owners and are an opportunity to break free from the day-to-day demands of running your business and join a community of like-minded people to learn and grow together.
Hope this helps and let me know how you get on.