Those dreaded nerves and how to overcome them
Last week I had the perfect opportunity to put into practise all the techniques I teach others. Over the last few months I've been learning to ride a motorbike, I've wanted to do it for ages and now I've plucked up the courage to go for it. Last Tuesday was the first part of my test.
So what makes you nervous? An important meeting, an interview, a test, an exam or an appointment, whatever it is I'm sure you go through the same process as me......
During my lessons I'd never mastered the whole thing from start to finish, at some part I was rubbish and it was never the same bit. So frustrating and my nerves were really starting to kick in.
You know the feeling, my mind filled with all the reasons why I couldn't do it. Visions of me making a fool of myself in front of my test instructor. Then came the reasons why learning to ride the bike was important to me, how good it would feel if I passed but that just added to the pressure. My body filled with energy, my hands started sweating and my head was racing. On the night of my last lesson I couldn't sleep, tossing and turning all night. Nerves had kicked in and I didn't like it. Sound familiar?
So I decided to practise the techniques I teach. The great thing about these is that you can do them yourself. Here's what I did:
First I took some lovely deep breaths, focusing on breathing in refreshing air and breathing out all those worries. This started to calm me down.
Then onto correcting my thinking, at some point I had done all the elements correctly which meant I could do them all. I forced myself to mentally walk through all of the test in detail focusing on doing everything correctly. I did this over and over again. This gives your brain positive evidence and also trains the muscles to do well. Research has shown that the body responds the same no matter if you're really doing it or just imagining it. Doing it well over and over helps boost the feeling that you can do it and trains the mind and body how to do it.
Now onto the language, all the 'I can't' stuff really wasn't helping. So I decided on some statements I wanted to reinforce in order to focus on what I had to do rather than what I didn't want to do. Here are the three statements I chose:
- I can do it
- Aim for the gap (knocking down a cone was an instant fail)
- I am calm and balanced.
I said these statements to myself over and over. When a niggling thought slipped in I replaced it with one or all of these.
Test day arrived
I slept really well the night before and woke feeling good. I still felt a little nervous but a little is always good, I decided to call this feeling excitement.
I got to the test centre and when I first sat on the bike at the beginning of the test I took one of those lovely deep breaths and said my three statements to myself.
The outcome: I passed!!!!!
The feeling really was great but not one of elation because by that point I kind of knew I could do it so it was no surprise. All that practising mentally and positive words gave me a feeling that it was the obvious outcome. Although that didn't stop me smiling all day.
So here are the steps I used again:
Step 1 - Deep relaxing breaths
Step 2 - Correct your thinking and rehearse it mentally going well.
Step 3 - Positive statements to reinforce what you want.
Go on give it a go and leave a comment below letting me know how you got on taking control of those nerves.
Until next time
Hypnosis and NLP for when life doesn't feel right - you don't have to know the problem for it to work.
I suggested working on a session by session basis so Katherine could fit me into her journey and book a session when she was ready for more. She decided she wanted to crack on so booked a session each week for 8 weeks.
Over the next 8 weeks I worked with Katherine on various aspects of her life, from stress and confidence boosting to letting go of the past and teaching practical techniques to boost positivity.
Every time Katherine came in she had a bigger spring in her step and a brighter smile on her face.
Here's what Katherine had to say
In Katherine's words, she couldn’t believe it. Here’s some of her changes over the 8 weeks:
- I said no to someone and had no problems in doing so, the pressure is finally lifting.
- I turned my phone off for an hour the other day and enjoyed myself.
- I haven’t eaten chocolate since our session, I just really don’t fancy it.
- I feel perky again, oh my I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I felt like that.
- I’ve been on a date, haha
- I’ve been using my self hypnosis and I can get myself off to sleep now.
- I’m just so relaxed, my friends are asking what’s happened they can’t believe it.
- Life is great, I feel really positive and chilled, I can’t believe what a difference……in just 8 weeks.
I saw Katherine the other day, here’s her update 6 months on, ’you’ll never believe this, I’ve got a boyfriend and I’m still feeling amazing. I can’t thank you enough’.
You can read Katherine's full story by clicking here.
My thoughts on Katherine's amazing life change
People don’t always come with the answer, they just know that something isn’t right and they have the knowledge that now is the right time to do something about it. Katherine implemented everything we did and reaped the reward. It was lovely seeing her blossom and grow at each session.
I want to give you a truthful picture Katherine’s journey with me was definitely not always easy but she felt comfortable and safe. She trusted that I would do the right thing and was willing to do her own work to make the best of what she’d learnt.
If you feel you would benefit from some help to ‘spring clean’ or you’re going through change and would like some help get in touch here: Contact me.
Until next time.
Here's a summary of what we did. Our first step was to tackle Gemma's habit of eating at night, we then gave Gemma control of her eating choices, helped her to safely let go of underlying causes of overeating, each session we boosted her self confidence and I taught Gemma practical techniques she could use to overcome her emotional eating.
If you want to read a full break down of each session, along with Gemma's full story click here.
What Gemma had to say about hypnotherapy
“I would explain that its important to choose your hypnosis goals yourself and pick the right time to go ahead. It’s a way of making changes you want to make without the need for significant willpower to achieve them. It’s a positive and deeply relaxing experience which feels natural and not at all forced.”
Gemma's final thoughts
Zoe you are calm and reassuring plus easy to trust. The initial change has been maintained, I have lost 18lbs in 14 weeks and feel this steady weight loss is likely to continue as my emotional response to food has altered. This is a huge relief as I feel able to regulate my intake of food – Thank you so much.
I’m so chuffed for Gemma, seeing her progress over the 3 months was a pleasure and seeing her smile really made me realise how blessed I am to do my job.
If you are like Gemma you’ve tried every diet going, feel really low and want to get your head in the right place I’m here. As Gemma said you have to want it and it does need to be the right time for you. So when you’re ready give me a call.
If you would like to read more about my weight loss programme all the info can be found here.
Thanks Gemma for allowing me to share your story.
Until next time
In Ian's Story, I've also shared the breakdown of the sessions Ian had so you can see the process of hypnotherapy and understand that it's not weird and magical it's based in science and more to the point........it works!!!!!!
Click here to read Ian's story of how he overcame social anxiety using hypnotherapy.
Please feel free to share this post with friends and tell them social anxiety isn't something to be scared or embarrassed about it's something which you can overcome.
Ian's story was such an inspiring one and something I just had to share. I hope you found it informative and uplifting.
Enjoy your day.
Todays' tip is all about feeling good because when you feel good you find it easier to make healthy choices.
Technique 3 - help yourself to feel good
How often do you take time to say well done to yourself for something you did well?
I'm guessing probably not often..........if ever.
Think about it, how do you make a child flourish? Praise, a sense of pride and achievement. You say well done when they do something right, you make them feel good about something they've done so they feel inspired to do it again.
Adult brains still work the same but we don't have a teacher or parent there telling us we're doing well. Instead we set ourselves high standards or have a boss who sets them for us. We strive day in and day out to reach them and probably the general response we get is to try harder. It's exhausting, I'm sure it makes you feel like you're never good enough..............and the result is you reach for the comfort of the biscuit tin, wine, cake (whatever your nemesis is).
So what can we do instead?
How do I help myself feel good without becoming 'look at me I'm amazing'?
I'm not suggesting an over the top, ego centric, I'm so amazing approach. I'm suggesting you say well done every now and again, give yourself a genuine pat on the back for something you've done.
Go on....what are you waiting for? If you're waiting for someone else to do it chances are you'll be waiting a long time so go ahead.......do it now........what have you done lately which you feel you did well?
It doesn't matter how small or how big just say well done!!! And keep doing it, get into a habit of saying good things and treating yourself nicely with the words you use.
Want to do it even better? Write it down. It's amazing what a difference it makes when you write something down, it gets out of your head and into reality and therefore makes an even bigger impact.
Nobody needs to see it.......you could keep them secret somewhere or burn them afterwards if you wish.....it really doesn't matter. It matters that you said it and wrote it.
Remember: When we feel good its easier to make good decisions.
Create a healthy balance rather than a constant, 'I'm so rubbish' parade and you'll find you stop craving those unhealthy pick me ups and start having the freedom to make a better decision.
Go on.......start a new healthy habit today!!!
Let me know how you get on
I'd love to hear how you've got on using any or all of these 3 simple techniques, let me know in the comments box below.
Until next time
PS. Why not share these techniques with your friends? Click on the share buttons and help them get effective use from their heads too.