If you are feeling overwhelmed, pressured, lost, drained or just full of negative thoughts....this is for you. It's the month of love so I'm going to give you 3 reasons why you should fall in love with your unconscious mind.
This part of your mind is the most amazing tool, lets have some fun and teach you how to use it.
What your unconscious mind is not......
Before we start I want to dispel a few myths. So many people are afraid of their unconscious and what it might 'do'. They don't want to go there in case it opens pandora's box or does something they 'can't reverse'. So lets just get a few things straight.
1) Your unconscious is yours and it's number one role is to keep you safe. It will always continue to do that.
2) Your unconscious is where your beliefs and values are held so anything which goes against those isn't going to be entertained.
3) You control your mind, it's up to you what you do, where you go etc. If something is too big, you can break it down or just not even go there, it's always your choice.
4) Your unconscious is like a small child, it can be mischievous at times, it likes lots of praise and support, it's not malicious or unkind.
5) You do it already!! You already access this type of thinking every day, when you're day-dreaming, driving the car, reading a book, watching TV, sitting on the toilet etc etc.......
Ok with that put to bed lets move onto the wonderful things your unconscious mind can do.
3 reasons why you should love your unconscious
Lets dive straight in.....
1) It holds all the answers: Your unconscious mind is like a massive library of everything you've ever experienced, learnt, believed etc....it has so much information and you can access it. When you sit and slow your brainwaves down, ease and slow.....you throw open the doors and if you listen it will give you the answer to your questions......eg. Where are my keys, why am I feeling annoyed, what's the right thing for me to do etc. You have the wealth of power at your fingertips, if you'd just sit down, be quiet and listen.
2) It's creative and fun: Your unconscious mind is where your creativity and imagination are, if you allow it, you can have some real fun. So often this gift is trained out of us, as a child we had the ability to laterally think, to invent and imagine. What would you give to unleash that fun spirit again?? How many great ideas could you create, if you let yourself? Sometimes it's not about being in the box, it's about showing yourself you can enjoy jumping out of it.
3) It calms the fight or flight response: With our busy lives and hectic schedules we are constantly living in our fight or flight response (I shared a video explaining this here.) During this we aren't healing, we aren't digesting and our hormones are all over the place. The outcome of too much of this can be anxiety and stress. Unconscious thinking calms and switches off our fight or flight response.
The benefits of slowing down have been well documented in research studies and with mindfulness and meditation on the rise it's great to hear that the message is being heard. Your unconscious mind is estimated to be 30,000 time more powerful than conscious thinking. Just imagine what amazing things you could have access to.
Don't know how to access your unconscious?
If you would like to have a go at unconscious thinking but don't know where to start I've created a little 10 minute audio which you can download. Just find somewhere peaceful, sit back and listen. Once you've got the hang of what it feels like, you'll start to fall in love with how amazing your unconscious mind can be.
I hope that has given you a new found excitement and interest into the power of your unconscious mind and it's potential. If you would like help with your mindset and overcoming nerves, overwhelm or other issues I'm always happy to help.
Until next time
Over 6 years ago I stumbled across a set of techniques which have ensured my sanity whilst running my own small business. It's called Hypnosis. Here I explain how Hypnosis works, how it can help and why I passionately teach it to all my clients.
They say running a successful business is 20% knowledge and 80% mindset, I happen to agree.
If you're fascinated by hypnosis and want to understand how it works, read on.......
What is hypnosis
When I say I'm a fully qualified hypnotherapist most people start backing away or say something like, 'Oh, don't look in her eyes'. Hypnosis has a reputation for mind control but actually the reality is something completely different and I'm pleased to say over the last few years people's perceptions are starting to change.
Hypnosis is actually something you do naturally every day. Have you ever.........
All of these are hypnosis.
So you probably enter the state of hypnosis 2-3 time every day, maybe even more!!
What's going on?
During your awake state your brain waves operate at a level which your conscious mind loves, it's firing on all cylinders but as you settle down and those brain waves slow down your conscious mind doesn't work so well. Instead your unconscious comes alive and starts processing and thinking. So during these times which I mentioned above you are thinking more with your unconscious mind and that type of thinking is very different.
In the 1950s they did some research and found out that your conscious brain can only handle 7 +/- 2 pieces of information so its capacity is very limited. In contrast your unconscious brain is like a library, storing all the things you've experienced, heard, seen etc. It's capacity is amazingly large and it's here where habits and unconscious actions are created and held. I read a quote somewhere saying your unconscious is 30,000 times more powerful than your conscious and I can well believe it.
Just a quick note on the difference between hypnosis and hypnotherapy. Hypnosis is the state which you're in. In the 4 situations mentioned above you are in a state of hypnosis. Hypnotherapy is then the action which is taken during the state of hypnosis. Effectively the therapy or changes or work which takes place. I hope that makes it easy to understand.
2 Benefits of Hypnosis for Solopreneurs
So what are the benefits of hypnosis to the Solopreneur? Well I've already alluded to one of them but I'd like to focus on two, which are:
1) Problem solving - sometimes you're looking at something so hard that the answers just become further away. You're ultimately using your limited conscious mind to find the solution and not tapping into the incredible resources held in your unconscious. By using hypnosis you can have more light bulb moments by having access to the unconscious library which has so much more resource at it's disposal.
2) Giving your head a break - we all know as Solopreneurs that we are constantly thinking about our businesses. Every waking moment is ticking over some element of your to do list, aims or issues. Hypnosis gives you time to take your head off for a little while. This is great for resetting the fight, flight and freeze instinct (more about your FFF Instinct here.) This calms your whole system and has huge long term benefits too. Great if you're feeling any anxiety, stress, pressure etc.
Hypnosis vs Meditation
So what's the difference between Hypnosis and Meditation?
None, they both reach the same state i.e. the state of hypnosis. Which is that daydreamy kind of state when you feel you're there but not really all there.
The difference is in hypnotherapy where something is worked on during the state of hypnosis. Where in meditation/hypnosis you're getting the value of being in that state rather than purposefully amending or assessing any files in the library while you're there.
Want to have a go?
If you would like to experience hypnosis I've created a 10 minute Rest and Refresh audio which you can download. It's designed to be listened to every day and includes affirmations to top up your good stuff, give you strength and refocus your mind and thoughts in the right direction.
If you would like my 10 minute audio you can download it here.
Hypnosis is an amazing set of tools which can really help you stay sane whilst also running a small business. We all need mental time away because it's not just a nice thing to have it's actually a powerful part of how your brain works. Hypnosis gives you access to the library and all it's resources, tapping into that can have amazing results for you and your business.
Until next time
My phobia package is 3 sessions and I sometimes get asked why 3 when other hypnotherapists can do it in 1? Over the last 5 years I've tried and tested different approaches with clients here's what I've found and why I only offer a 3 session approach:
When people come to me with a phobia they've often had it for a long time, it feels beyond their control and it has a big impact on their life. I found with my clients a 1 session approach was too big a step for them to take in one go.
After their 1 session many reported feeling uneasy, like something was missing, causing them worry/anxiety and often over time clients filled that void with something else. e.g. they aren't scared of spiders any more but balloons suddenly become a problem. For me this isn't resolving a phobia and isn't getting the client the results they want. For a few client this 1 session approach worked well but for me those odds weren't high enough....I wanted to create a better experience and one which got better results.
So I did some research. I looked at overcoming a phobia from both the clients point of view and also from the 'how our brains work' perspective.......here's what my research showed me:
My findings for effectively Overcoming a Phobia
1) The first time you experience hypnotherapy your head ask a lot of questions, 'am I doing this right', 'is this how it's supposed to feel' etc.....you're so focused on doing it well that the techniques often didn't work as effectively.
2) The mind will not give something up unless it's happy to do so......the best convincer is your own evidence. If you (in real life) experience that it can be different and that the 'new' behaviour is better, it gives you confidence and the techniques which follow work even better.
3) You want to feel in control. You like to know what to do. It's as much about the conscious belief as it is about the unconscious. Practical tools give you back control and power. Even if the phobia was removed the practical tools help manage that strange feeling you get when you're doing something new.
4) Removing a phobia leaves a void, what do you put back in? We have to fill that void and refill the unconscious with new thoughts/behaviours and actions. There's only so much of this I can do in one session and it's often just not enough.
5) It's a joint effort.....I can only do so much, I have to teach you what to do so you can do it for yourself, out there in your life, in the situations you experience.
As you can see, to get you the best outcome and experience, there's a lot more to consider. I decided to do this effectively it had to be more than 1 session.
My 3 session package was the outcome from these findings.
1) The powerful intro - In this session you experience hypnotherapy, letting go of any thoughts and feelings that are holding you back and I help you start to feel like things can be different. I also teach a practical technique to regain control when anxiety strikes.
This session is designed to leave you feeling empowered, comfortable and back in control.
2) The phobia squasher - This session is the traditional hypnotherapy phobia session designed to reframe/change your phobic experience. I also build on what we started in session one with lots of encouragement and confidence boosting suggestions.
This session is designed to get rid of that phobia, once and for all.
3) The aftercare - This session teaches you how to refill the void with good new thoughts/actions and behaviour so you can continue after the sessions. Its also an opportunity to check in with you and make sure everything is going well and you have everything you need to be phobia free for good.
This session is designed to give you everything you need to have effective, long lasting results.
Since using this approach my results have improved dramatically. From following up with clients after their sessions I can say with confidence that pretty much all of them have achieved the outcome they wanted, I'm definitely going to stick to this approach. But don't just take it from me, Lisa was happy to share her story with you, click below to have a read:
Here's how I helped Lisa overcome her phobia of driving.
So that's why my phobia package is 3 sessions, in a nut shell.....it's because in my experience this approach gets better and more sustainable results.
If you, or someone you know has a debilitating phobia and would like some help, book a free Meet and Greet consultation with me and I'm always happy to have a chat.
Until next time
What is 'relaxing'?
Ok so first lets deal with the cultural expectation of what relaxing is. Often when we think about people relaxing we think of someone zen like, sitting looking like they're doing nothing, maybe you've heard of mindfulness, thinking in the moment or maybe you think about whale music and the whole yoga pose thing?
However, this either doesn't interest you at all, it's your idea of the most boring task you could think of or you've tried it, just seem to think about all the things you 'should' be doing and your mind just questions constantly if you're doing it right.........which doesn't feel very relaxing to you!!
The truth is that this is only one type of relaxing and some people relax in a completely different way.
So, if you're stressed out and running around like a loony, it's probably going to be hard to sit still and just relax. The art of relaxing is a learnt behaviour just like everything else, if you haven't experienced it before your brain will find it hard to create. If this is you or someone you know telling them to sit in a quiet room, close their eyes and chill out just isn't going to work. If you think you can't 'relax'......that's not true.....you just relax in a different way.
The secret is to start with where you are and understand how you think. If you are stressed out or you're an analytical thinker you need something to occupy your conscious brain, something repetitive, mundane and simple. When your conscious is out of the way being kept busy, your unconscious can relax. Examples of things you may find relaxing are:
- Washing the car
- Chopping wood
- Doing a jigsaw
- Doing the housework e.g. hoovering
All repetitive, simple tasks. And whilst your 'busy' your unconscious mind can wander. This is also a form of relaxing.
Listening to music can also be incredibly relaxing but what type of music eases you into peace is completely up to you.
The whole idea of relaxing is simply slowing down......slowing down your brain waves, easing stress and tension, so long as you are doing that......you are relaxing.
How this works in a therapeutic setting
I've been working in this field for 5 years and I haven't had a single person yet who hasn't been able to 'relax' in my chair. So how do I do it?? Firstly I find out about you, what you currently find relaxing and how stressful life is at the moment. Secondly, I pick an approach which matches. Some people love relaxing in the bath some people like relaxing by going out on their motorbike. I have lots of different approaches I find one that will suit. I have to start with where the person in the chair is and then lead them into slowing down in a comfortable and easy way.
How can I relax at home?
My biggest advice is to stop thinking that in order to 'relax' you have to be a zen like, buddhist equivalent. This type of relaxing a) Suits some people and not others b) Takes time, first your brain has to know what relaxing feels like before it can create that feeling in a range of situations. That doesn't mean you can't do it, it just means you have to learn how. Here's my simple technique for doing just that........
Here's my approach to the perfect relaxation:
1) Find out what you find relaxing
2) Do that and allow yourself to enjoy it....often
For some people this is enough, they're happy they can relax and enjoy it and that's good enough.
But if you'd like to access this same lovely feeling anytime, anyplace and anywhere........read on.......
3) When you begin to get good at relaxing however you're doing it in step 1, start to realise what relaxing feels like, looks like and sounds like for you. Make a mental note of the things you notice.
4) Now find somewhere quite and just imagine you're doing that thing, instead of actually doing it and focus on all those things you mentally noted in step 3.
Bingo, now you can achieve the same sensations of relaxing anywhere, anytime, anyplace by just imagining something. This can take a little bit of practise but it's worth it. The more you do it the more your brain will find it easy.
What's your thoughts about relaxing? Any comments, observations etc feel free to add them to the box below, I'd love to hear from you.
Happy relaxing. See you next week.
Ever been halfway through a packet of biscuits before realising you've eaten them? Oh good, so it’s not just me then. Interestingly this is actually normal brain functioning and I can explain exactly why this happens and what you can do to change it.
It’s all to do with the relationship between our conscious and unconscious.
Research in the 1950s showed that our conscious brain can only handle between 5 and 9 pieces of information and the average for a human being is only 7. For everything else we rely on our unconscious brain.
Imagine how many pieces of information you're taking in right now? Our conscious focuses on the 5-9 'most important' things. The unconscious is responsible for everything else.
To make this easier our unconscious brain creates patterns and processes for each thing, for example how we walk, talk, drive, or even use a knife and fork. Our unconscious learns to associate a certain action or ‘trigger’, with a pattern of behaviours which then run in order. So you do A and it knows then to do B, C, D and E. The pattern rolls out without you needing to think about it. It has to happen this way, because of the sheer amount of things us humans need to do in any one given moment.
How these patterns are formed?
Patterns are formed mostly through learnt repetition, you do something a certain way over and over and over and soon it becomes a habit. An encoded pattern, which then runs without you having to think consiousy, effectively your head is saying, ‘I know how to do this leave it up to me.’ Patterns can also form without repetition if it's something which was so big the first time e.g. if you burnt yourself badly on a fire the likelihood is you wouldn't have to do it again and again to create a habit which said this is how we behave around fires.
So what's happening with the biscuits?
Your brain is running an instilled pattern. This pattern had a trigger, that moment you became unaware of your actions, maybe it was you entering a room, the touch of the door handle, the feeling of coming home from work….. it will be associated to one of your senses, you touched something, smelt something, heard something etc.
Then your brain unconsciously ran the programme and you only consciously became aware of your actions again when you were halfway through the packet. Clever stuff that brain of yours, isn’t it.
So what if you want to change it?
There are numerous ways to change these patterns, the secret is finding a way which works for you. Here are 4 examples my clients have tried and found worked for them. Try them and see what works for you:
So sorry, but your biscuit habit is completely normal brain function but you don't have to put up with it. Hope these four ideas gave you some things to try.
If you'd like to know more about conscious versus unconscious thinking I talk more about it in the second video of my the free video series, if you'd like to have a watch click the green box on the right.
I hope you’ve found that fascinating. Go and try some of these tips and let me know how you get on.
Always happy to help
5 Simple Steps to Squash your Reward Habit
Step 1: Ask yourself what are my rewards and treats which are not food or drink related? Finding it hard, it's no surprise, your brain has probably not thoughts of rewards and treats in this way for a while.
Step 2: Next think about 6 new ways to reward or treat yourself which are not food/drink related. Pick things which are realistic in terms of money and time, pick things which you'll enjoy. Some examples may be, taking a lovely bath, spending 15mins playing with the kids, going for a walk, picking a song to listen to etc. It can be anything.
Step 3: Take time to notice when you need a treat/reward. Notice those times when you said in the past I deserve x......and choose one of the new options to do instead.
Step 4: Whilst completing the new treat/reward take time to remind yourself why you've deserved it and its important you take time to enjoy it.
Step 5: Repetition is the key to creating a new habit, repeat these steps every time and your brain will soon create a strong link between needing a treat/reward and doing the new action instead.
And that's it. Have a go and see what changes you can make.
P.S. If you're struggling with a weight loss mind battle and would like some help you can see all the details of my Weight Loss Support Programme here.
In absolute truth I believe in both. You’ll never get your outcomes if all you do is dream and never take action……but how do you know what you want if we don’t allow ourselves to dream? Maybe it's time to build a bridge and realise we can do both.
In my opinion our western way of life puts so much emphasis on logical, action based thinking we forget about our creativity, imagination and passions. It’s like being trapped in a cage of targets and pressure……..it’s no wonder people clamber for escapisms and fun.
We’re so busy comparing ourselves to the ‘you should be doing x’ according to our well defined logical lives……that if you don’t fit this box you feel alienated, full of anxiety and quite frankly lost. It’s really no wonder depression and anxiety figures are on the rise.
Do I think positive thinking and self healing actually work? Yes!!! Of course they bloody do. If you cut yourself you heal don’t you??? Our bodies are designed to heal but does that mean I don’t use medication……no!!! Everything has its place and I don’t believe it has to be one or the other but you can put equal amount of emphasis on both.
And often life is rubbish and throws you things which are hard to deal with and you can choose to feel like a victim, feeling alone, angry or hurt, day in and day out, or you can take the occasional ‘den day’ feeling awful and then muster up all the positivity you can and crack on. Perpetual negative thoughts have been proven to only lead you to a more miserable place.
There are so many myths about hypnotherapy, wishy washy isn’t something I would use to describe it. Does hypnotherapy encourage you to use your creative brain……yes. Does this approach often result in different answers…..yes. Does relaxing and getting away from the pressure of life help you feel better……yes. So since when did doing things the hard way and having to feel rubbish day after day become the only answer? Through hypnotherapy you can relax, solve your own challenges and feel good whilst doing it so why wouldn’t you want to?
Personally I think it’s time to stop thinking we have to choose one or the other. Action and hard work will get you there but don’t forget to dream, create and feel good whilst you’re doing it.
What’s your thoughts? This is such a big topic, I know you’ll have an opinion so please feel free to comment below and join a discussion.
Until next time
Todays' tip is all about feeling good because when you feel good you find it easier to make healthy choices.
Technique 3 - help yourself to feel good
How often do you take time to say well done to yourself for something you did well?
I'm guessing probably not often..........if ever.
Think about it, how do you make a child flourish? Praise, a sense of pride and achievement. You say well done when they do something right, you make them feel good about something they've done so they feel inspired to do it again.
Adult brains still work the same but we don't have a teacher or parent there telling us we're doing well. Instead we set ourselves high standards or have a boss who sets them for us. We strive day in and day out to reach them and probably the general response we get is to try harder. It's exhausting, I'm sure it makes you feel like you're never good enough..............and the result is you reach for the comfort of the biscuit tin, wine, cake (whatever your nemesis is).
So what can we do instead?
How do I help myself feel good without becoming 'look at me I'm amazing'?
I'm not suggesting an over the top, ego centric, I'm so amazing approach. I'm suggesting you say well done every now and again, give yourself a genuine pat on the back for something you've done.
Go on....what are you waiting for? If you're waiting for someone else to do it chances are you'll be waiting a long time so go ahead.......do it now........what have you done lately which you feel you did well?
It doesn't matter how small or how big just say well done!!! And keep doing it, get into a habit of saying good things and treating yourself nicely with the words you use.
Want to do it even better? Write it down. It's amazing what a difference it makes when you write something down, it gets out of your head and into reality and therefore makes an even bigger impact.
Nobody needs to see it.......you could keep them secret somewhere or burn them afterwards if you wish.....it really doesn't matter. It matters that you said it and wrote it.
Remember: When we feel good its easier to make good decisions.
Create a healthy balance rather than a constant, 'I'm so rubbish' parade and you'll find you stop craving those unhealthy pick me ups and start having the freedom to make a better decision.
Go on.......start a new healthy habit today!!!
Let me know how you get on
I'd love to hear how you've got on using any or all of these 3 simple techniques, let me know in the comments box below.
Until next time
PS. Why not share these techniques with your friends? Click on the share buttons and help them get effective use from their heads too.
Why short term diets don't work
See how much of this resonates with you:
You often eat for satisfaction, rewarding yourself for both the good and bad with food or drinks, ‘oo I’ve had a good day I’ll eat cake’, or ‘oo I’ve had a bad day I need wine’ etc. Then you decide enough is enough and you’re going to be ‘good’. You cut out all treats and live on some restricted diet forcing yourself to make healthy decisions. Finally after some time you give in, say something like, ‘to hell with it’ and go back to eating the cake, wine etc.
Ever wondered why your head can only cope with this for a short amount of time?
Answer: You’re giving yourself no treats or rewards and expecting yourself to be happy with that in the long term. It’s not going to happen.
Ask yourself this, what treats or rewards to do you have which are not food or drink related? Go on…..really think about it.
Seeing other things as a treat and really taking time to enjoy them will relieve the cravings for that food and drink. Your head will give them up much easier and for a long time, so long as it knows you’re going to be kind to yourself.
Go on give it a go. Try being nice to yourself and see what happens. Let me know how you get on, I’m always interested to hear.
Until next time
This week: Thoughts and Language.
You’re never going to get away from what food you eat and the exercise you do results in what you weigh, but most people make their decisions harder by using ineffective language and self talk. Here’s some examples, have you ever caught yourself saying any of these?
1. I’m no good at losing weight.
2. I’m addicted to chocolate.
3. I always pile back on the pounds.
You may be asking what's ineffective about these? Well here’s the simple science to explain. Whatever you say to yourself your brain goes away to find evidence and proof. Your brain is ultimately a yes machine, when you say, ‘I’m no good’ your head can tell you a million reasons why that should be true and deliver them with emotions which drive either positive or negative actions. Ultimately the statement or question you ask drives the evidence which you receive.
Lets take statement 1. I'm no good at losing weight. When you say this your brain has to find evidence which matches e.g. how many times you've tried, how many times you've fallen off the wagon etc. All this 'evidence' then reinforces the view that you're no good but your brain only found that evidence because that's what you asked it for.
So what do you do?
Simple technique to losing weight 1:
Focus on what you do want, not what you don’t.
To give you an idea of what I mean I’ll change the points I mentioned above into powerful statements. This way your brain can find evidence which helps you rather than hinders, here’s my suggestions:
1. Each day I’m getting better at losing weight.
2. I choose what I eat and I choose to be healthy.
3. If each day I live a balanced diet I will always be in control of my weight.
Say these statements to yourself 3 times and see the difference it makes to how you feel. Do you feel better?
What you need to do: Make this part of your routine. Catch yourself saying those negative statements which focus on what you don’t want, listen and then change them. Ask yourself what is it that I do want and say that instead.
Have a go and if you’re struggling and would like help changing your negative statements into positive ones contact me, always here to help.
Until next time
PS. If you want to learn how to put mind over matter and lose weight here's the details of my 3 month Weight Loss Package. It will teach you everything you need to gain control and make those healthy decisions easier.
Weight Loss research Overview
This particular research investigated the effects of hypnosis in weight loss for 60 females, at least 20% were overweight. Treatment included group hypnosis and individual sessions with therapeutic story telling for strengthening their ego, decision making and motivation, exploration of causes in individual hypnosis, and group hypnosis with maintenance suggestions for long term results.
Weight Loss with Hypnotherapy Results
The results were clear, an average of 17 lbs lost by the hypnosis group vs. an average of 0.5 lbs lost by the control group. I’m sure, like me, you think they’re great results!
(Cochrane, Gordon; Friesen, J. (1986). Hypnotherapy in weight loss treatment. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 54, 489-492.)
Mind Solutions and Hypnotherapy for Weight Loss
Other solutions focusing on the mind certainly also work but as the research below shows adding hypnosis to these has been proved to increase the results.
Researchers analyzed 18 studies comparing a cognitive behavioral therapy such as relaxation training, guided imagery, self monitoring, or goal setting with the same therapy supplemented by hypnosis. Those who received the hypnosis lost more weight than 90 percent of those not who did not and they maintained the weight loss two years after treatment ended. Exciting results I’m sure you’ll agree.
(University of Connecticut, Storrs Allison DB, Faith MS. Hypnosis as an adjunct to cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy for obesity: a meta-analytic reappraisal. J Consult Clin Psychol. 1996;64(3):513-516.)
This is clear evidence that hypnosis isn’t just mumbo jumbo but gets real scientific results.
If you are fed up of dieting and trying every fad and never being able to keep it off, if you are ready to experience hypnotherapy for yourself, my Weight Loss Package gives you everything you need to change your habits, lose weight and keep it off. It includes 4 sessions, 3 CDs and a weekly Mind Tricks email Click here to see all the details. When you're ready to make a real difference call me on 07712 445651 and we'll get started.
Until next time
What Does Hypnosis Feel Like?
Have you ever:
- Ever drove from A to B and not been fully aware of the journey?
- Ever been watching a film and completely not realized someone was talking to you?
- Ever been reading a book and totally got lost in the story to the complete exclusion of everything else?
- Ever been lying in bed with your mind popping up random thoughts that seem unrelated and not logical?
All of these are hypnosis!! You know exactly how it feels and you probably experience it everyday, you just don’t realise it. Hypnosis feels like a day-dreamy, relaxed and somehow ‘not completely focused on the now’ feeling. Your body is doing one thing and your mind is a million miles away.
Now I’d like to dispel a few myths:
1. Do I lose control? – despite the portrayal of hypnosis on the telly and stage the answer is no, those people will only do what they’re happy to do, the same goes for you I can't make you do anything you don't want to.
2. Will I do silly things? – No, unless clucking like a chicken will help you achieve your goal, I’m not interested. This is about therapy not entertainment.
3. Can I move and talk? – Yes absolutely, you can if you want to. Some people feel so relaxed they can’t be bothered but if you want to move or talk you can and will.
They’re the three most common questions I get asked but if you have any more feel free to comment or get in touch, I’m always happy to answer questions and answer your questions.
I hope that puts your mind at ease and helps you understand how hypnosis feels. It’s something you already do and know very well. I’m just using that natural process to focus your mind on working on an outcome you want.
Until next time.
PS. If you would like to meet me and see if hypnotherapy is the right tool to help you, I offer a free 20 minute meet and greet consultation, call me on 07712 445651 to book.
Reasons why hypnotherapy would not work:
- If you’re not comfortable for any reason: The basis of hypnotherapy is to achieve that wonderful day-dreamy state and for this it requires you to feel safe and comfortable. If there is any reason why this wouldn’t be the case hypnotherapy isn’t going to work. This is why it’s so important to choose the right therapist for you.
- If you don’t want to change/quit the problem: As the famous quote says “I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make it drink” and this is also true of hypnotherapy. If there is a reason why you fundamentally don’t want to change you won’t. For this reason I don’t take on clients whose relative or friend has contacted me on their behalf. I need to know the client is committed to the outcome, otherwise we’re just wasting time and money and I wouldn’t want to do that.
- If the client doesn’t ‘go with it’: Similar to the one above, I can’t make people do something they don’t want to do. You are always in control and decide what to feel/think at all times. The foundation of hypnotherapy is a lovely relaxed and peaceful feeling but if you don’t go with that and allow yourself to feel/think it you’re not going to benefit from hypnosis.
NOTE: This isn’t to say you can’t reserve judgement, I have many clients who aren’t 100% sure if it’s going to work, you just have to be happy and open to wait and see.
- If the approach I choose isn’t the right one: There are 100s of different ways to help someone with their issue, I have a huge toolbox with many different techniques so it’s important that we both take responsibility for the process. I always take time to understand how you think so I have the best chance of choosing the right tool but I sometimes don't get it right so it’s also your responsibility to help me by giving information and letting me know if something different would be better. It’s a two way process which we both have to commit to. If either side don’t do this it isn’t going to have the affect you’re looking for.
The good news is everyone can feel the benefit of hypnotherapy, after all you do it to yourself everyday. The only two questions you need to answer for it to work are these:
1. Do I feel safe and relaxed with my therapist so I can go with it and feel comfortable?
2. Am I ready to change and am I open minded and willing to put the effort in to achieve the outcome I want?
If the answer to these questions are both yes then hypnotherapy would be a great experience for you.
Hope that helps,
Until next time
PS. If you have questions about hypnotherapy or would like to meet me and see if I’m the right person to help you, I offer a free 20 minute meet and greet consultation, call me on 07712 445651 and I'll get you booked in.
What hypnotherapy can help
Here’s the list of the things I’ve helped people overcome, achieve and change:
- Phobias – I’ve worked on all sorts of phobias from flying phobias to a phobia of stairs. If you wonder why something that should be a rational and easy act provokes an irrational response I can explain it and help you overcome it.
- Confidence – I’ve helped people to talk in meetings, feel comfortable in social situations, start new businesses and get ready for an interview. Confidence is a coat you wear and is certainly a skill you can learn.
- Weight Loss – I help people change their triggers, habits and thoughts towards food, my biggest success is a whopping 6.5 stone loss.
- Stress – From work pressure to relationship issues I really enjoy giving people the skills to manage stress for themselves. Stress is a natural response to danger, it’s perfectly normal, you just need to re-educate your mind as to what situations it would be helpful for rather than let your stress response run wild.
- Anxiety – Such a debilitating feeling, I really enjoy seeing people smile and live their life with excitement after their sessions. Anxiety really doesn’t have to govern your life, you can get back in control and live life again.
- Habits – I’ve helped people successfully quit smoking, start eating salad and no longer notice irritating sounds. A habit is a learn behaviour and in my opinion if you’ve learnt one way you can certainly learn a new one.
As you can see your mind is an amazing tool that can create some rather unhelpful learnt behaviours and thoughts. Your mind is capable of much more than you probably give it credit for. So if you need help to put mind over matter hypnotherapy can show you how.
If you’re thinking about trying hypnotherapy but have some questions come for a free Meet and Greet 20 minute consultation. I’m always happy to chat and answer any questions you have.
I hope that’s given you a better idea of the things hypnotherapy can help with.
Until next time.
PS. Book your free 20 minute consultation by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org
What is hypnosis?
Hypnosis is a natural state which you experience everyday. It’s that feeling of being there but your mind being a million miles away. It happens often when you’re driving a familiar route, watching a movie, reading a book, sat on the toilet or before you go to sleep. Often people ask me how does hypnotherapy feel because they’ve never been hypnotised before, my answer is always ‘it feels exactly the same as when you do it every day’.
Usually what happens in these times when your mind is a million miles away is this……
During these wonderful day dreamy states your mind offers up strangely unrelated revelations about all sorts of things, I call these your light bulb moments.
What is hypnotherapy?
Hypnotherapy is the use of the natural process I explained above to achieve something you want. So instead of your mind offering up what you’re going to have for tea, I guide your thoughts to work on something you want eg to change a habit, thought or behaviour. Your mind thinks in a different way during these relaxed states so you can rationally explore new ideas or harness other resources which you’d never thought to use.
By using hypnosis you’re more likely to find a different outcome and one which your mind is happy to accept, trial or utilise in the future. Because of this your actions, thoughts, habits and/or behaviour will be different as a result.
I hope that explains hypnotherapy in a simple and easy to understand way. Here’s how some of my clients have explained hypnotherapy:
“Hypnotherapy is not scary at all. It is only after the session that you feel the real power of the session and that you actually did have hypnosis. You are always aware of what is going on during the session. It's just after you feel stronger in yourself, I just knew "it was very powerful" and that "it was working. Thank you" CB
“Hypnosis is not something to be scared of. I did not know what to expect but you have to participate 100% and go along with it to feel the benefits. It’s a journey but with a good outcome. You feel so relaxed, ready to face the world and your demons whatever they may be. Thank you” FS
Got more questions? Feel free to post them below or book a free 20 minute meet and greet session and you can ask them face to face.
I'm only a phone call away on 07712 445651.
Until next time.
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Hope that helps bring on that 'Springy' feeling.
Until next time
PS If life is getting you down and you’d like help letting go of the stresses and strains my Stress-Less session would be perfect, I’m only a phone call away on 07712 445651
Here's Fiona's Story:
The initial problem was trip of a life time to New York. I am an extremely anxious flyer, never been to America and never flown that far before. More recently I had become anxious about any travel be it a passenger in a car or on a train. I would sit rigid or make any excuse not to go even a trip to the supermarket would make me panic.
I was able to go through the whole journey feeling less anxious or scared I was able to sit back and relax throughout most of the journey, infact it was over before I realised and I even had to take the last plane sat on my own next to the window. I have never done that before.
I no longer dread going anywhere, I don’t make excuses not to go I see past the journey and look forward to what is at the other end.
Hypnosis is not something to be scared of. I did not know what to expect but you have to participate 100% and go along with it to feel the benefits. It’s a journey but with a good outcome. You feel so relaxed, ready to face the world and any demons whatever they may be. The whole experience is exhilarating especially when you feel the outcome.
Zoe has such a lovely calming voice, she has a lovely personality, a good listener and understanding of your situation I could listen to her voice all day and I am sure you will not be disappointed. Her surgery in Elland is very calming and relaxing with the comfiest chair I have ever sat in. Of course, I would recommend her to anyone and I already have sung her praises to all my friends.
The results are obvious to me and my family. I have Zoe’s CD and sometimes when life knocks my confidence a little I put Zoe on and discover myself all over again. But I take comfort in the fact that Zoe is there if I ever need her again and I would not hesitate.
I hope that gives you some insight into hypnotherapy, what it feels like and how powerful it can be. If you have a phobia you'd like to banish, I'd love to help and I'm only a phone call away: 07712 445651
Until next time
Common flying fears:
1) Feeling claustrophobic.
2) Feeling something terrible is going to happen, terrorism, crash etc.
3) Feeling you’re going to make a fool of yourself and be embarrassed.
4) Feeling its out of your control, like you’re not in the driving seat.
The good news is it doesn’t have to be this way. Hypnotherapy gives you an opportunity, in a relaxed and comfortable space to rebuild your confidence, examine the reasons for your fear and learn effective ways to manage or overcome your nerves.
Hypnotherapy can turn your anxiety into positivity and during a wonderful relaxation offer suggestions and support to change your thinking patterns so you can take back control and feel ready to fly.
Even pilots say that flying is one of the safest ways to travel. Hypnotherapy can help you get there.
Until next time
PS. If you’ve decided that now is the time to do something about your fear of flying check out my phobia package here: www.refreshedminds.com/phobias
5 Easy Ways to Change a habit.
- Change what happens before the habit – Just think of how many things you do without thinking, shaking someone’s hand, opening a door, using a knife and fork to eat…….. Our brains are wired to follow routines and patterns of behaviour. It has to do this to learn and that’s how you create a habit. By changing the trigger for the habit you interrupt the routine and this can stop your brain following the automatic habit. This is easier than you might think, if you always eat when you get home, change which hand you open the door with, if you always have biscuits in the evening while watching TV, switch off the TV for 3 minutes before you get the biscuits.
- Supplement the bad part for something else – This one is really easy, you’d be surprised at just how little regard your brain gives to the substance over the action. You can supplement wine for water, so long as its in the same glass, drunk at the same time, whilst doing the same thing your brain wouldn’t be as bothered as you’d expect. Changing the substance is easier than changing the action of the habit. I’ve heard many stories about wives who’ve put less sugar in a cup of tea and the husband has never noticed or people who have eaten things they never would if they’re chatting with friends etc.
- Don’t tempt it – Take the temptation away, don’t buy it or keep it in easy reach. If it’s not there your brain doesn’t think about it quite so much.
- Diversion – Do something else. Often boredom is the reason for these unhealthy habits so long as you’re occupied it doesn’t think about that particular food or drink. So come up with a simple diversion, each time you want a packet of crisps you’ll do x, this could be anything, 5 star jumps, knitting, phone a friend. Choose something which works for you.
- Practise – Since your brain learns by repeating patterns of behaviour practice is key. I once heard it takes on average 26 times before your brain accepts a new pattern of behaviour. From experience I’d say that’s probably about right. So keep doing it!! If you miss one and fall back to the old habit you’re back to counting again the beginning. After a short while your brain will run this new habit without you thinking about it.
So no more excuses and hiding behind an old habit as the reason why you struggle to lose weight. This 2015 create some new healthy habits which will help you achieve you goals.
PS. If you’d like some personal support to change some deep routed habits I’m only one phone call away on 07712 445651 or email me email@example.com
PPS. Check out how hypnotherapy can help you lose weight at: www.refreshedminds.com/weight-loss
What is hypnosis?
You may be surprised to know that hypnosis is an important part of everyday life and you probably already experience it at least once a day. Whenever your mind wanders, daydreams or is focused on something, such as getting lost in a book, driving a familiar route or watching a film………you are in a state of hypnosis. It’s that feeling that you’re there but your mind is a million miles away. Sound familiar?
Have you ever noticed that it’s often in these times you get your best ideas, those light bulb moments? This happens because it’s during these times your brain waves slow down and this gives you access to a different type of thinking.
How does Hypnosis help you lose weight?
Hypnotherapy guides your thoughts to work on the areas you’d like to change or think differently about. Here’s the main areas hypnosis can help:
· How you feel about yourself – confidence and self esteem.
· Changing your feeling towards certain foods – chocolate, crisps, biscuits etc.
· Creating new habits – feeling full after you’ve finished a meal, leaving food on your plate.
· Changing triggers to eat – eating in the evening or when you get home for example.
· Teaching new ways to handle emotions and stress – so you no longer crave food for comfort.
· Rehearsing new ways of thinking – this helps you feel comfortable and able to do these new things easily.
Working on these areas means you can then follow a sensible eating and exercise plan with ease because you’re no longer fighting outdated thought patterns and old habits. People I work with tend to feel amazing and motivated, therefore succeed at their new healthy way of life. But don’t take my word for it……..
Does it Work?
Here’s some verbatim comments from people I’ve helped:
“ I just had to tell you I can't stop smiling today! I just had a tentative try on of my 'small ' size 14 jeans and guess what there's FOUR pairs that are comfortable and back in my wardrobe!!! They say its 'just a number' but that's my goal and I feel great! A great big THANKYOU”
“Everything is going really well and I am very happy with my progress. I have been listening to both the CDs you gave me and these have been helpful. I am feeling very motivated and really could not have hoped for this to go better”
So if you’re struggling with negative thoughts, habits and triggers, if you’ve tried every diet going and still can’t make it stick, hypnotherapy might just be the answer for you.
I hope that has given you a better understanding of what I do and how it can help, if you have any questions I’m only a phone call away on 07712 445651.
Until next time
PS. To learn more about the weight loss package I offer click here.
The answer: It’s not willpower you lack, its motivation.
Think about it for a moment. When was the last time you were really motivated to do something, I mean really excited……….
Now answer this question, how much willpower did you actually need to help you achieve it? My guess is probably not much.
You see, you only need willpower to push you when your motivation is low, when you don’t really want to do something. Our willpower is designed to kick in when we lack motivation and make you do it. So if you want to achieve something don't rely on your willpower it will always feel like a battle, instead focus on kickstarting your motivation. To help here’s my 3 tips.
3 tips to kickstarting your motivation.
1. Know your values – everyone has their own set of unique values. One successful way to feeling motivated by any task is to find out how it fits with your values. Here's how: pick a task which you love and ask yourself "why is this important to me", ask yourself "and why is that important to me" do the same thing 4 or 5 times and you'll discover what your core value for that task are e.g. to make a difference, honesty, pride, sense of importance, value etc.
(If you need help discovering your values give me a call 07712 445651, my Discovering your Values session lasts an hour and you'll leave with a top ten list of your values and an understanding of how to use this list to find motivation in every task you do.)
2. Know the reasons why – Everyone’s reasons for losing weight are different, what are yours? Don’t just come up with what everyone expects you to say, ask yourself what really means something to you? Next, make it real.....what will it feel like, look like and be like when you’ve achieved it. Often we lack motivation because we’ve set ourselves the wrong goal based on something that we don’t actually care about. Be honest with yourself and choose something which motivates you.
3. Think in small steps – The big picture is often daunting and the thought of having to complete such a big thing knocks your motivation down to nil. Think only of the next few steps, concentrate on achieving just that bit because that feels easier to accomplish and you’re always more motivated to do something easy.
Remember: If you’re relying on willpower your goal isn’t motivating. Find the motivation and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to achieve.
Until next time.
PS. If you’d like me to help you discover your values give me a call 07712 445651.
PPS. Check out how hypnotherapy can help you lose weight at: www.refreshedminds.com/weight-loss
I was inspired to write this today by a Horizon programme my friend posted on Facebook. It asked the question, "can you change your personality". Interesting concept and some interesting findings which would be really beneficial if you are prone to anxiety, insomnia and general pessimism.
If you're interested in watching the programme the link is here:
I loved the mix of psychology and scientific proof in the programme as it's not easy to have quantitative proof of the effects on someone's personality.
If you don't have time to watch the programme here's a roundup of the things I found interesting and how these can help.
So if you are suffering from anxiety, insomnia and general pessimism you don't have to put up with it, you can literally change your mind.
Want to get started? Give me a call on 0113 2536137 or email firstname.lastname@example.org and you can learn the techniques to becoming optimistic.
Have a great day.
Today I have a question for you....why is it human nature to critisise and pressure ourselves so much? I swear nobody could possibly be a bigger critic than ourselves and what's more concerning is the level of impact this can have is massive and I do mean uba-massive.
So many of my weight loss clients have convinced themselves that they're rubbish at losing weight and instead are at the mercy of an uncontrollable inner self that sabotages their every attempt. They're trapped with all the old evidence of past successes and failures along with our super healthy culture which seems to have exploded lately to a point where you feel a failure if you have a single slice of cheesecake.
They're all desperately trying to get to 'that' goal (which is usually unbelievably big) and they're fighting the whole way mostly feeling it's exhaustingly hard work. An averlanche of shoulds, shouldn't and guilt erode any will power and motivation they once managed to muster and they end up convinced it's just too difficult, can't do it or might as well just get used to the fact they're fat. Sound in any way familiar?
Well I bet that does wonders for their self esteem and leds itself beautifully to raiding the fridge for something to make them feel better. What's more I can probably guarantee that won't be a piece of fruit!
So what's the answer?
Another question for you: why don't we natually go for the low hanging fruit? The easy stuff which wouldn't be too much of a big deal to change? We all know the little stuff adds up the a mountain so why not concentrate on that and eventually you'll get there without the emotional hard battle of wills. To start with you'd lose a few pounts, which would boost your mood and give your brain the evidence that you can do it. Then you're more likely to start the snowball effect, a few more good decisions and a few more etc. So why not be nice to yourself for a change?
Take each decision as just that, one easy decision and sod the bigger picture, high pressure, 1000 reasons why it won't work, hard work attitude. It's just one little decision at a time and I'm sure you could do that.
I dare you to take the challenge, what are the little things which you could do and start doing them one easy decision at a time.
Go on be nice to yourself and good luck losing those pounds.
So I've decided to be a human guinea pig and conduct a little experiment. I don't know about you but I've been feeling a little sluggish lately which I've put down to the darker, colder weather. I've never liked getting out of bed when it's dark! So I've just been getting on with things really (all be it a little slower than usual).
Late last week I became inspired to experiment with how much of an impact food has on how you feel. (I put it down to becoming a little obsessed with watching the Food Hospital on TV.)
So I've kicked out the cakes, crisps and chocolaty goodness and stuffed my face with fruit, veg, meat and pasta. I also seem to have eaten a lot of baked beans and tuna!! As you know I'm all about the brain and getting the best from your thinking so I'm a few days in and thought I'd report on my results.
1) So far I've been on a course all day Sunday and worked 32 hours in 3 days from Mon-Weds. In a normal week I'd have been dead on my feet today. I've actually got all of my to-do list done plus a little extra - whoop.
2) Wednesday night is notoriously a killer, driving back over the M62 at night after a long day's work. It usually requires some extra focus and effort. This week I found myself chair dancing to the radio all the way home. Maybe just because there were good tunes on the radio but I definitely felt a lot more awake and alert.
3) I also feel I can think clearer, I definitely feel I'm firing on all cylinders instead of forcing the cogs to go round.
Oo I know it's not brain related but I'm counting the 4lb weight loss as an extra bonus :)
I know my little experience wouldn't hold it's own in a quantative/qualitive study but I'm convinced that food can help you feel and think well. So if you're feeling low and sluggish with a mushy brain take a good look at your diet. Reach for the nutritious foods and cut down on the high sugar and fatty foods and see if it makes a difference to how you think and feel.
I'll definitely be taking my own advice and sticking with this one.
Have a lovely day
So a few of my friends and family have decided to give the Stoptober challenge a go. It got me thinking how I could help. Now unfortunately I don't have the time to go round them all with some hypno wonderfulness especially since they live all over the country but I do have time to share a little mind wisdom in the
hope it helps.
Now I can almost guarentee that this is the hard bit, a few days in and reality is kicking in. Will power gets you so far, then its about shear determined effort even when the going gets rough. Now I and others around are all there to support, waving pom poms and yelling "go for it!" but that doesn't get away from that niggly voice in your head saying, "oo go on, just this one, it will be ok." So here's a little mind magic to help.
Tip 1 - We're amazing at giving ourselves excuses and reasons for everything. The fact is you're deciding to listen to that voice, even if it's just for a second. You control your mind and that's a fact. At a risk of sounding like Grange Hill, "just say NO". Tell yourself you aren't listening, aren't interested and change the subject. Give these thoughts no time or space. Once you stop telling yourself you could, might, maybe and start saying I'm a none smoking, don't like it, need it etc you'll be amazed at how different you start to feel.
Tip 2 - None of us do something for no reason. So what's your reason for smoking? A few minutes away from your busy day? A social catch up away from the bosses ear? A good catch up with mates? A way to calm yourself down? Whatever it is needs filling without the fags, depriving yourself makes your need for smoking worse. Chances are you're saying "oo I couldn't possibly do that without the fags." If you're saying that you're probably right. You won't be able to because you're constantly telling yourself you can't. Fill the emotion somewhere else and it won't be as hard to give up the smoking. Give your energy to saying you can do it, rather than how difficult or how you can't do it.
So keep going, remember why you decided to quit in the first place and keep telling yourself you can do it. Oo and save the money so you can treat yourself at certain intervals.
Here's to the next 4 weeks of being a none smoker.