The truth is most people who suffer from low self-confidence and a lack of self-esteem don't have much trust in themselves. They find it hard to trust in their abilities, trust that they'll do something well, trust that they can work it out...........and without that trust there will always be fear.
That fear often manifests itself in a lack of confidence and a mindset focused on an inability to cope.
How do you build trust in yourself?
From my experience trust comes from learning about yourself and finally having the answers to why you do what you do or why you were hurt by something which was said. With this understanding suddenly it's no longer a guessing game, you understand yourself well enough to know why you made that choice and acted the way you did.
Once you have this you can begin to trust yourself again.
I approach every situation with this philosophy: People always do what they think is best given the information, resources and experience they had at that time. With this in mind you never make a wrong decision just a mis-informed one.
Learning your values and how you think is the key to unlocking your understanding. I've included these exercises/explanations in my free video series. Click the link here for those who want to have a watch.
Mistakes aren't always bad
OK so this may be easy to say and it doesn't change that horrible feeling you get when you've made one but it is absolutely true. Often our biggest learnings come from our biggest mistakes.
By making mistakes we help our brains refine how to do something well. Although mistakes feel tough, without them you wouldn't learn. No baby went from being carried to walking without falling down many times.
So stop trying so hard to not make mistakes, you're getting rid of your biggest learning tool. The secret is learning how to roll with them and I'll go into that next.
How do you manage your mindset whilst making mistakes?
So if mistakes aren't bad and we need them to grow, how do we continue to make them without the confidence demolishing side effects?
It's not what happens to you that matters, it's how you handle it that makes the biggest impact.
By using a technique called Reframing you can change the way you perceive any situation. A reframe is a language pattern designed which is an effective way of experiencing situations in a different way. Have a go..........Instead of saying, 'oh I'm rubbish' or 'I always get it wrong' or something along those lines.......reframe it to 'It's ok I'm learning' or 'I know enough about yourself I know why I did that'
By using reframing to change your language you take away the guilt, the disappointment and it's those that eat away at your confidence and trust in yourself.
Hope that helps. Let me know how you get on.