Oh, who are you kidding you're no good at that!!!! Screamed my brain because I decided to try something different.......followed by, 'you're going to make yourself look like an idiot'......'what will your friends think' and 'don't kid yourself, you'd be best just giving up now.' Does any of this sound familiar??
Good, cause this is me.....and pretty much every human being at some point. We humans are terrible for it and some of us could be Olympic champions. Ever had just one thought and bam 2 minutes later you're useless, not good enough, a waste of space with a massive confidence issue who might as well drown yourself in chocolate, alcohol and self-pity. Pass me the blanket and a soppy girlie movie!!!
STOP!!!!!! What?????? Have you actually ever questioned ANY of these statements whizzing around your head??..........
- Who says you're no good........you haven't even tried it yet so how could you know you're no good at it?
- Who says looking like an idiot is necessarily a bad thing or that others are even going to care enough to be watching.
- And go on..........actually WHAT will your friends think??? Probably 'good on you' if you actually asked them.
- And which kid did you ever know who fell over umpteen times and said, nah this walking thing isn't for me???? To master anything takes practise.
Our heads are terrible at spouting verbal rubbish and we never question it. We just take it as gospel and crawl back under our duvets too ashamed to come out, thinking we have a massive self-confidence issue.
How to Squash that Self-Doubt
The answer to overcoming self-doubt is to never let those thoughts go unchecked. Ask yourself, is that true or say the statement out loud - if it sounds ridiculous that's because it is!!! Think 'would I say this about a friend?' If not what right do you have to say it about you?........Do something, anything to show yourself that what your brain is saying is just verbal rubbish. Nothing more, nothing less.
The seriousness of Self-Doubt
Really???? When did everything get so serious!!! The challenge, as I see it, is that people take this rubbish too seriously and the trick is to lighten up. Laugh at how creatively appalling your mind can be, how mischievous and cheeky. It's like a small child trying to get your attention and seeing how far it can go.
The problem is your mind knows you better than you know yourself.....it knows exactly what will hurt, what will play on your biggest insecurities and it uses them to its best advantage......THAT DOESN"T MEAN IT'S TRUE!!!! Don't believe me......phone a friend.
A trusted friend knows you best
Sometimes you just can't see the wood for the trees and you need someone to give your self-doubt a little perspective. A trusted friend can help so give them a call or go for a coffee. They can see you better than you can see yourself. WARNING: They'll probably laugh and say......really!? You're kidding right. Do not be alarmed, they are actually telling you the truth.
What you see about yourself is often completely different to what other people see. If you could see yourself through someone else's eyes you wouldn't worry half as much.
If you are suffering from terrible self-doubt:
1) Question those inner statements, don't let them go unchecked.
2) Lighten it up - everyone has those moments and it's refreshing to marvel at how creatively mischievous your mind can be.
3) Ask a friend - they know you best
And finally, move on.........there is such a thing as too much time on our hands, if we have too much time to think our brains work some amazingly appalling magic. Find a hobby, get out of the house.....switch your attention, just don't give it time to think so much.
I hope this helps you feel better and gives you some practical ways to squash that self-doubt. If you'd like more help understanding how your brain works watch my free video series there's even more support for you there.
Remember: Feeling self-doubt is a normal part of being human, the question is 'is what you're telling yourself actually the truth?'
If you have a way of conquering self-doubt which has worked for you, why not share it so others can benefit. I always love to hear your thoughts.
Until next time