What people who suffer from issues such as anxiety and low self esteem can do to build their confidence.
Today I'm going to share with you a simple step to help build your confidence if you're struggling with issues such as anxiety and low self-esteem. It's the exact same technique I use with my clients and many have reported what a massive difference it's made and it's probably something you currently don't give a second thought.
Your brain is a very clever and powerful tool.....you know that right..........well language plays a massive part in driving that tool. Your language is the first step in directing what your subconscious mind does. Let me give you an example.
Don't think about a blue monkey with big ears.......
What did your brain do the minute you read that? It thought about a blue monkey with big ears, you couldn't help it, it just did. This is because your brain has to reference the content of a sentence in order for you to understand it. The same works for every sentence you say or hear, whether that's something you heard externally or something you say to yourself.
If you're saying to yourself, I'm not confident, I can't do this, I'm going to embarrass myself, what if it goes horribly wrong, then your brain has to reference what you mean. That sentence just provided the foundations of what your brain has to work with. And your brain is clever......It won't just find a measly weak example, it will find all the examples to support that language eg what others have said, what you've read, what your experiences has been but it will always be within the context of the language you first used eg it will find all the reasons why you can't do something, all the times it's not gone right, every time someone has said you're no good etc etc etc etc..........
You are the hamster which drives that wheel...you threw the first punch by using that language, your brain just collected the evidence matching what you asked for.
So a really simple way to begin to build your confidence is to look at the language you use, expecially around whatever makes you feel anxious or have low confidence. Ask yourself is that language helpful and does it drive your brain in the right or the wrong direction?
If it's the wrong direction (and the majority of the time it is) then change it.....not once, not twice but over and over again. It's you that's giving your brain that foundation, if you truely want to change then stop throwing the first punch.
A cautionary note about overly crazy positivity
A little note here, I don't prescribe changing your language to over crazy positivity eg 'the world is great and everything is fine'. In my opinion your brain is way too clever to fall for that kind of statement. I don't know about you but my brain's response is usually.....'Yeah right who are you trying to kid!!' But sentences like 'I can do this' or 'every day I can feel better' feel much more possible. Choose language which is positive but authentic.
Your brain will use this language as the foundation and then finds you examples which match so why not choose the language which supports you.......rather than what tears you down.
I appreciate this takes practise, when you've done something one way your whole life it won't just flip to doing something else. I've been practising this for over 5 years and still catch myself sometimes. But it does gets easier and easier. So you have to make the effort.....notice your language and practise changing it to something realistically positive.
If you struggle to come up with positive things to say I have created some Pick Me Up audio downloads on a number of topics to make it easier. Just click the link above, download one which suits you, listen often and they'll give you a kick start in the right direction. If you don't find one which matches what you want? Let me know, I'm always adding to the collection and happy to take people's requests into consideration.
So that's it......language.....hugely powerful stuff which you probably just let come and go through your head without ever questioning it. It's your language which forms the foundations of your thoughts so choose it wisely. Make sure it builds your confidence and you'll be surprised just how much impact it can have.
Until next time