Resilience for me is a feeling of strength, knowing that no matter what happens we will be able to cope.
Even though I am young at heart I remember a time when we had to rely on knowing routes to places and get ourselves out of our own mess because you couldn’t phone home to be rescued unless you could get to a phone box. I think this built strong roots of resilience for me. (The picture is me at Lake Coniston in the rain after the dingy sprung a leak haha.)
Sometimes I feel theres less of a need now to rely on ourselves and our own abilities, therefore lessening our confidence in ourselves.
However I’ve also seen it work the other way around. I was watching Restoration Man the other month and a man took on a huge renovation project and did it all by the power of You Tube. He taught himself all the crafts he needed and did a really good job. I was thinking……..would he even have considered that project if he hadn’t been able to learn those skills through the internet??
Imagine the feeling of achievement that gave him…….a great sense of ‘I can achieve anything’ would does wonders for your resilience. (I talk more about how new experiences build resilience in this blog.)
I don’t have an answer for you here, I would just love to hear your thoughts. I certainly think self confidence is a big problem these days and I do think technology plays a part.
What do you think? Does modern technology positively or negatively impact on our resilience…..
They say the roots of a tree can be as long as the tree is tall, and I can tell you from experience digging up my garden last year that they are ridiculously strong. Many of my clients start off a little like my wheelie bin. They’ve stood in the same place happily for a while feeling strong. Then the weather changed and blew them off balance. They lost their strength and have ended up just going with the weather, hoping it wouldn’t blow them around too much. Some have even come to rest in a new place but it feels strange and they need help to be stood back up.
So what is your resilience like? Do you have those strong roots which keep you grounded even if your branches are blowing in the wind, if so feel free to share your secrets in the comments below so others can learn and grow from you.
Or do you resonate more with my wheelie bin, strong to a point but the weather can really blow you off course.
Maybe you’re questioning if it's even possible to change?
Yes of course we can change - we are learning beings, our brains are designed to constantly get better at doing things. You never knew how to drive a car till you had lessons and you never knew how to use a computer until you were shown. Then every time you did it, you got better and better......you see we are all learning beings.
Lets start with where our roots come from:
You have strong roots already!!!
You aren’t starting from scratch. Often we focus so much on what we don’t have we forget to remember all the good stuff.
I see this will the majority of my clients, they focus all their energy on telling themselves over and over about all the things they aren't good at....don't have.....could do better etc. But just like them you are not starting from 0. Lets start by realising that you have resilience already, think of all the elements of the 4 areas above which you do have experiences for. I bet there's more than you first thought........you have resiliance, you just want more of it.
How do you grow more resilience?
There are lots of different ways to grow your resilience depending on what area of your life needs work. I'd like to share my top 3 tips to get you started:
Do you have any more suggestions? This isn’t a one-way conversation, I'd love to hear what you think. Does this resonate with you? Am I talking rubbish? Let me know in the comments box below.
I hope these ideas have got you thinking and help you grow strong roots.
Until next time