I believe there is immense value in connecting with like-minded peers and facilitating informative and explorative discussions. Discussing more about the real journey of owning a business and being in a supportive environment where you can ask questions to learn and grow.
It started with a personal quest
For a while now I've been toying with the idea of such a group. I've looked around for something to join but all I find are networking opportunities, business development events and learning sessions designed for businesses with much bigger budgets. For me these are either about showcasing/building your business or out of my league.
I want a learning opportunity which is accessible and designed to create a supportive community so I can learn and grow both professionally and personally. And equally as a business my aim is to help the human behind the business.......a plan was starting to form in my mind.
Then a 'aha' moment
Then, last month I went for a coffee with a lovely business associate of mine and I got talking about this idea. She pointed out that I already had the mindset toolkit, a wealth of business experience and a facilitation background so why don't I just go for it and set up such a group myself.
Talk about being slapped in the face by something obvious. I went home and Break Free, Find Clarity was born.
What is Break Free, Find Clarity?
This is a monthly event designed to bring business owners together to create interesting discussions, to share expertise and to learn simple mindset tools which you can implement. Because when you are strong, capable and motivated your business will flourish and business isn't just about 'the business' it's also about you.
Each session/meeting is just £15 and you'll walk away from every one feeling better than when you walked in.
So if you want to join a supportive community and learn practical tools to add to your mindset toolkit so you can flourish and grow, this group is for you.
How to join us
We meet on the second Tuesday of every month 1-3pm at The Room in Brighouse, West Yorkshire. More details and booking information can be found by clicking the picture below.
Your mind is a powerful tool, come and join some like-minded business owners and learn some amazing tools which can help you succeed in business.
Until next time.
PS. This meeting is not a confessional, you can share as little or as much as you like about your personal experiences.
PPS. Please let your friends and colleagues know about this event, you never know it may be the support they've been looking for.
Why do so many people suffer from negative self talk, why does this happen and what can you do to change it? Just so you know I don't prescribe over crazy positivity like the world is amazing etc....I focus on the science.
Today I'll be sharing with you what shapes our self talk, the impact it has on our day-to-day lives, along with 3 simple techniques you can use to improve your mindset, energy and motivation.
The reality of self talk, a quick story....
I don't know about you but as a busy entrepreneur my self talk seems to never shut up. My head is constantly awash with a running to-do list and endless tasks.....then out of nowhere
A little voice says.....'Why are you bothering, you know you're no good at this.'
I try and ignore it, distract myself and crack on but not a moment later I hear......
'No, seriously...just close shop and get a job.........'
Before I know it my head is swimming in negativity (which I know is not good for me) and I feel like a failure....
Whilst this crazy inner dialogue continues I can also rationally think AT THE SAME TIME....that I'm being ridiculous and need to stop but it doesn't seem to make a difference.
Isn't being a human amazing!!!
Within about 5 minutes I can go from getting on with my day quite happily to a self-doubting, negative wreck.
Sound familiar? If so read on, I'm going to explain why this happens and then give you 3 tips you can use to change your self talk.
The science of self talk
I believe that a good understanding is the first pillar of building natural confidence. If you don't know what's happening how can you fix it?
PS. This is what most solutions lack in my opinion. They give you the tips but don't empower you with the understanding. When you know what's going on and why, you can implement the tips much more effectively.
These 'negative' thoughts emanate from our survival instinct, our basic need to keep ourselves safe. This is the fundamental role of your subconscious mind and in order of importance, keeping safe is above all else.
Our negative inner dialogue serves as a barometer reminding us of things which our unconscious believes we need to assess in order to be 'safe'. In the example I gave above the fear stems from feelings of insecurity eg I may look stupid, fail, lose or embarrass myself.
To keep you 'safe' your mind will throw anything it needs to at you to make sure you listen. And it's efficient, it knows what will have the biggest impact. It will not waste it's time with insignificance, it goes straight to the jugular. If you are majorly affected by what others think, guess what......your mind will play on that. If success is important to you it will say what if you fail etc.
Whats more, you are a survival mammal so you look for danger and threats more than you look for pleasure. Your brain is geared to highlight these 'negative' things, it's human nature. That doesn't mean those thoughts are true, it just mean's you're a human.
There isn't a single person on the planet who doesn't have inner self talk and we all have to keep it in check from this barometer of keeping us safe. You are certainly not alone!!!!
3 effective techniques for changing your self talk
If you're finding your self talk is overwhelming or having a negative impact on your motivation and energy try one or all of these techniques.
- Don't listen - often self talk is fuelled by our analytics. We don't just think the thought, we analyse it's meaning, which starts the snowball effect by giving it our focus our unconscious goes into overdrive. DON'T!!! It's just a thought, give it no power, no attention at all.
- Counteract it - Purposely force yourself to think about all the times the opposite has been true. Question the thoughts validity, don't just take it at face value. Often these thoughts are like verbal diarrhoea. They just tumble out and actually they lack honest sustinence.
- Lighten up - it's just a thought, that doesn't mean it's true. I call mine Mr Niggles, I give it a silly character, a mischievous personality. It's like a child who doesn't get it's way. I laugh at how awful it can be. Lightening it up can make you feel less drawn in by it.
I use all of these techniques both personally and with clients, they really work. The absolute key is noticing when you're doing it, when that inner self talk is happening. Only when you start noticing it can you actively choose to do something about it.
Notice it.....question it......minimise it........and then crack on...
I hope you find these practical techniques useful and I know they take a little practise so.....
If you'd like more mindset support book a place on my monthly Break Free, Find Clarity sessions. These give you an opportunity to learn even more simple mindset tricks and also connect with a like-minded community.
And if negative self talk is a real problem you'd like some one 2 one support with, book a free 30 minute Mindset Review and we'll have a chat and get to the bottom of it.
Until next time