My thoughts on this are...it depends how long you've been feeling not good. There is a massive difference between having a bad day (or few) and being trapped in negative thoughts and distortions which have gone on for a long period of time. Today I'm going to talk about both.
Person 1: Do you need a Bad Day??
In my observations people run away from feeling bad. They feel they have to be chirpy all the time. Have to always be having a good life and feel they have to be continuously smiling and happy. This is rubbish!!! We all have bad days, days when we just want to hide under the duvet, eat rubbish and watch trashy TV and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!! Research shows that bottling things up is really bad for our health. So you can either have one bad day or lots of 'I generally feel grumpy days??? I know which I prefer. So have a bad day once in a while and go for it!!!!
Stop running away from having 1 bad day.
If you're due what I call a Trash Day.......clear your diary, notify your significant others (tell them you don't want consoling just need to fall apart for a day, you're fine and will check back in with them tomorrow). It's ok to be a crying, dribbling mess, feel the whole world is wrong and have a bad day. It clears the air, gets those emotions out and makes you feel a whole lot better. Then go to bed and awake up tomorrow ready to face the world.
You don't even have to do it at home. Go for a long walk, sit somewhere and fall apart, book yourself a little room away somewhere.......just stop running away from feeling bad and accept that it's perfectly ok.
We all have them........so go on.........have a guilt free bad day!!
Person 2: Every day is a very Bad Day?
Depression is a growing challenge in the world these days and I never underestimate it's power. They say depression can start with repetitive negative thoughts and lead to distortions in your thinking which leave you in a downward spiral of despair.
Many people with depression feel like every day is a bad day.
But help is out there. I've helped many people with mild-moderate depression and within a few sessions they've started feeling better so I thought it would be nice today to tackle one of the more common challenges often felt by people with depression, which is overgeneralisation in their thoughts and language, examples would be, I can't stand this, why is it always me, I'm such a loser etc.
If you look at these statements they are really generalised, and often the sufferer never questions them but instead just accepts them to be 100% true. The trick is to catch yourself saying the overgeneralised statements and question them e.g:
- is it 'always' you?
- can you really not stand it?
- are you really a loser?
I often ask where's the evidence or what tells you that?..........then really question the answers. This approach is also used in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and can be very effective. The trick is to start really questioning those distorted thoughts rather than just letting them roam free.
If you'd like to know more techniques for overcoming negative thoughts there's lots more help in my free video series feel free to give it a watch.
How to make yourself feel good
So how do you make yourself feel good when you just don't want too?.....Here's my advice:
I hope that's helped. Let me know your thoughts and how you're getting on in the comments box below, I always love to talk about these sort of things.
Until next time.