A friend of mine's son broke his leg really quite badly and was in hospital having it plated along with some physiotherapy to get him back on his feet. Every day his mum visited the hospital and told him he wasn't good enough because he should be back on his feet by now. She told him he should give up anyway because it wasn't worth him trying and how stupid he was for breaking his leg in the first place......on and on every day she told him these things knowing that this would make him better..........she went to the hospital two weeks later and was flabbergasted to find her son still lying in bed feeling sorry for himself...........
Are you screaming at the screen right now??? Saying what the hell, how dare she say those things.....obviously that isn't going to make her son better, she should be supporting and helping him!!!!!
But how can you say that because this is exactly what you do........every single day!!! Every day you berate yourself via your internal dialogue.......telling yourself over and over how rubbish you are, how you should be feeling better by now.....how stupid you were to get yourself into this mess etc. And whats more your shocked because you feel low in energy and sorry for yourself.
You probably even say worse things than I wrote above!!!
If you want to thrive through tough times the answer is simple........do to yourself exactly what you'd advise in the story above. You need to increase the support, compassion and care......and that doesn't just mean expect it from everyone else and you'll get better....it means do it for yourself!!!!
Use your internal dialogue to give you strength, support and love......be kind and be realistic. Pushing yourself harder, berating your efforts and dragging yourself down will only lead you one way......then don't be surprised when you feel low on energy and feel you can't cope. I'm pretty sure this is how my friend's son would feel after that barrage of abuse.
Abusive language hurts just the same whether it's said to you from outside or from within.....it still does the same amount of damage.
Make a promise to yourself right now. I will increase the amount of compassion, support and care I give myself. I will never say to myself something I would not say to a friend who is suffering. This is my pact!
Now make sure you stick to it!! Keep this story in your mind and question your actions. Does your internal language help you to get better??
Don't run from tough times, they can be your finest hour......just take a breath, be kind to yourself and thrive on through.
Until next time