‘What ever made you think you could do this, there’s others who are far better than you.’
‘No matter how hard you try you’ll never be like that, you might as well give up now.’
‘What have you got to offer……nothing haha’
‘Listen to them, they’re so good at this……..you’ll never keep up.’
On…..and…..on……..and……..on Mr Niggle goes. Striking at the very heart of your insecurities until you feel an overwhelming feeling to shake your head, get up and run or go back to bed. Mr Niggles wins again!!!
Trust me, I'm just as bad….sometimes I think I’m actually worse than most. But over the last 5 years I’ve learnt some effective ways to silence Mr Niggle. I’ve used them personally and taught them to clients who have reported back their successes. There's nothing better than hearing someone achieving thanks to something I've helped them with……the secret is finding a way that works for you.
So today I’m going to share with you 4 ways to silence those inner doubts and re focus your attention. Here goes.....
1) Take away the power. I now call mine Mr Niggle, it’s a silly name designed to take away its strength. Now I see him as a mischievous little character that adds comedy and lessens the impact. In a great book by Dr Steve Peters he calls it your Chimp (The Chimp Paradox). It really doesn’t matter what you choose, so long as it’s demeaning, small and feels right for you.
2) Look for the truth. The majority of these self-doubting statements aren’t based on true facts. I’ll give you an example. I was looking at an amazing guys website yesterday and suddenly felt inferior (Mr Niggles was having a whale of a time!!). After several minutes of ‘woe is me I might as well quit now’ I made myself look at the About Me page and found out that this guy had been running his business for 20yrs, I’ve been doing mine 5….hardly fair to compare don’t you think? I wonder where he was after 5 yrs? Ask yourself what the truth is or how you could find it.
3) Get an outsiders point of view. Even if it means taking a breath and stepping back from the situation yourself. For me I ask myself, ‘what would my grandma say’, she was a level headed and charming woman, very down to earth and always encouraging. One of my clients had a very close friend, they would text each other their thoughts and then ridicule each other’s or show how they were so very untrue. Both work a treat.
4) Distraction. Mr Niggle hasn’t got a very long attention span so breaking the pattern often means he soon loses interest. One client decided to choose a favourite tune and internally sung it loud to drown them out. Another decided to put whatever it is down and physically shake it off. Distraction is a great tool but it has to be something completely different, the more shocking the better, so have a think, what would work for you?
So there are just 4 of my many tools to squashing those inner doubts. I have used all of them at one time or another and so have my clients. But here's my bonus biggest tip........
My Biggest Tip
I think accepting that Mr Niggles is part of me and he’s going to get bored and mischievous sometimes was one of my most profound break throughs. Everyone does it!!! Even that person you’re comparing yourself too. Now-a-days I can even let Mr Niggles play and laugh at his childishness sometimes. But ultimately you control him so decide when you're not going to listen or when to enlist one of the above techniques to silence him.
Now I've shared my crazy Mr Niggles moments and 5 ways to improve how you can handle him. Why not share yours below. I'd love to hear your crazy niggles, don't leave me out on a limb all on my own here. Maybe you have other successful ways of overcoming those inner doubts which you'd like to share? Feel free to share your experiences.
Until next time.