There's something I've noticed from talking to people this week and it's something which causes a lot of anxiety and feelings of personal rubbishness. Which is one of my pet hates. Making yourself feel inadequate or not good enough is one human nature I'm sure we could do without.
So what is it I'm talking about?......It's the frequency we compare our inner world with someone elses outer world. We seem to do it way too often from what I've seen. This excessive comparing creates all the shoulds and shouldn't that we add to our mental ammo to crush our self worth eg "well this person does this, that and the other so why can't I, I should be able to do that" or "I must be a failure because they can balance 3 jobs, 3 kids and a stack of plates on their head and still be smiling". Ok so that last one is a slight exaduration but I'm sure you get my point.
How many times have you done this? How many times have you looked at someone elses's situation or demeanor and made assumptions about what you should or shouldn't be able to do? And what influence has this had over how you feel about yourself?
So lets flip this around, do you go around and melt into a jibbering wreck in the middle of the street or do you but your best face on when others are around? I think I know what your answer will be.
We all but on our brave face when in the company of others, telling everyone we're fine when actually we're not. With the exception of true friends I guess which is when the chocolate and tissues come out or if you're a man you go somewhere for a man chat.
Comparing your inner feelings, thoughts and emotions to someone elses outward facade is like comparing apples and oranges. You don't know the truth about their situation, what's going on in their head, they might just be feeling the same as you (or felt the same way once). Similarly others will be looking at your situation and thinking gosh I wish I was more like that.
My advice would be to look at others realistically, we all benefit from seeing and learning from what other people do but we don't have to put our rose tinted glasses on when we see it. Neither do we need to be nasty and assume everything is terrible in their life, we just need to strike a balance and live in the reality. Maybe even share and communicate to understand how others really feel rather than making your own assumptions.
So banish the unrealistic shoulds and shouldn't you've presumed to be true from watching others and notice when this natural human behaviour rears it's ugly head. I'm sure doing this would do wonders for your self esteem.
Hope this helps.