When is it most beneficial for someone to seek help rather than having to deal with their issues by themselves?
So many people stuggle along in silence, reaching out for every self-help solution they can find. Some people find their answers in self-help solutions whilst others still struggle along afraid to ask for help. So how do you know when to tackle an issue yourself and when to seek help? I have a little analogy for you today which will make that decision a little easier.......
When do you know you need to call a plumber?
It's usually when you have a leak and you can't or don't have the expertise to fix it. You could go for a DIY solution, get the parts you need and read up about what you need to do. For some this fixes the issue and if you do all the steps right it works out fine. Or you might just decide it's beyond your capability and you're better to just let the expert do it. I guess it depends on the size of the leak and what your experience of dealing with leaks is......
In my opinion the same principle applies to your mind. There are loads of self-help books out there, and many people overcome, 'fix' and deal with things perfectly well themselves. Others decide for many reasons to get an expert in.
Expert vs Self-Help solutions
I often describe myself as having a massive treasure trove of tried and tested tools and techniques. I've learnt over the years what works and what doesn't so I can probably support you, or your team to achieve your outcomes quicker but I also appreciate the benefits of self-help solutions because these can give you bite sized information as and when you need it. For me, the most important part of this debate is always getting you to your outcome. The solution may even include a bit of both......with self help and expert support.
Personally, I really don't understand why people feel embarrassed or somehow broken when it comes to their mind, just like the plumbing you just don't have the expertise to use it. If you had an issue with anything else you'd say, 'I don't know how to do that, lets get the expert in' in my opinion your mind is no different.
Often when working with clients I see so many light bulb moments, there's lots of benefits to working things through out load. Often thoughts sound different and give you insights which you hadn't achieved on your own. I find talking and guided quiet reflection are such powerful parts of learning.
When I set up Refreshed Minds I created 4 pillers which represent how every person I support will be treated I think the first pillar - Positive Regard really highlights this point. (if you want to know all 4 you can do so here) I believe that everyone is doing the best they know how to do, you're not stupid or useless..........just doing your best with a tool you were probably never taught how to use. I always start with that perspective. I just know lots of stuff which can help and I'm happy to share it with you.
Does it matter which you choose?
Whether you choose a DIY approach or you decide to call in the expert it really doesn't matter so long as that solution gets you, or your team, to the outcome you want. If you ever feel it's beyond your expertise get in touch, I have loads of tools and techniques which can help and I'm always happy to share them.
If you would like some more free self-help support I share lots of free articles on the website packed with tips and hints you can try.
Lets stop debating how you do it, deep down you know if your self-help approach is enough or if you'd get further and quicker with the support of an expert. For me the decision really is as simple as deciding to call in the plumber.
Until next time